Pretend I'm Dead

August 24, 2015
If Beagin’s debut novel feels voyeuristic, it’s due to its incisive realism and the protagonist’s fascination with the people around her. Mona spends her 20s cleaning other people’s houses and observing her clients intently. After a heartbreak involving an addict Mona calls Mr. Disgusting, she leaves Lowell, Mass., for Taos, N.M. The book comes alive in this new location, where Mona encounters New Age neighbors, a family that may be hiding something, and a cleavage-bearing, leopard print–wearing psychic. As Mona gains insight into the lives of those around her, she comes closer to confronting her own traumas. Her quick wit (she tells people that oven cleaner is her poison of choice) and the surprising turns in the narrative (Mona’s clients are always more complex than they initially seem) keep this journey of self-discovery from veering into cliché. The result is a funny, touching look at loneliness and the search for belonging.

March 15, 2018
A young woman's offbeat adventures among misfits, weirdos, and other human beings.Mona cleans houses for a living. This surprises people, as Mona is white, and English is her first language. The world seems to expect more from her than she expects from herself, which might be why Mona falls for a junkie. The man she thinks of as "Mr. Disgusting" is, at first, nothing more than fodder for fantasy--her profession affords a lot of time for elaborate daydreaming--but, eventually, the two start a real relationship. Just as there is more to Mona than her clients expect from a cleaning woman, Mr. Disgusting is not solely defined by his addiction. Both Mona and her author are sharp--but empathetic--observers, and this story is filled with characters who are seriously damaged and wholly human. The novel is shaped by the people Mona meets. There's Mr. Disgusting, who cannot escape himself but gives Mona the push she needs to grow into herself. Nigel and Shiori are a weirdly serene couple whose offers of help Mona ignores, but they help her anyway. Henry is a client with a secret. And Betty is a psychic who may not be a total fake. And then there's Mona herself, plagued by ailments emotional and physical and trying to finally understand the truth of her chaotic childhood. Mona is cleareyed and funny, not a reliable person exactly but a trustworthy observer. What gives this novel its heart is Beagin's capacity for seeing: As Mona cleans peoples' homes, we learn that the wealthy, well-dressed, superior individuals who pay her to scrub their toilets are just as messed up as the addicts and prostitutes and gamblers she encounters outside of work. This is not a new theme, of course, but Beagin makes it fresh with her sly, funny, compassionate voice. This is a terrific debut.Singularly enjoyable.

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