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I'm Still Here

Reese's Book Club: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • REESE’S BOOK CLUB PICK • From a leading voice on racial justice, an eye-opening account of growing up Black, Christian, and female that exposes how white America’s love affair with “diversity” so often falls short of its ideals.

“Austin Channing Brown introduces herself as a master memoirist. This book will break open hearts and minds.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed
Austin Channing Brown’s first encounter with a racialized America came at age seven, when she discovered her parents named her Austin to deceive future employers into thinking she was a white man. Growing up in majority-white schools and churches, Austin writes, “I had to learn what it means to love blackness,” a journey that led to a lifetime spent navigating America’s racial divide as a writer, speaker, and expert helping organizations practice genuine inclusion.
In a time when nearly every institution (schools, churches, universities, businesses) claims to value diversity in its mission statement, Austin writes in breathtaking detail about her journey to self-worth and the pitfalls that kill our attempts at racial justice. Her stories bear witness to the complexity of America’s social fabric—from Black Cleveland neighborhoods to private schools in the middle-class suburbs, from prison walls to the boardrooms at majority-white organizations.
For readers who have engaged with America’s legacy on race through the writing of Ta-Nehisi Coates and Michael Eric Dyson, I’m Still Here is an illuminating look at how white, middle-class, Evangelicalism has participated in an era of rising racial hostility, inviting the reader to confront apathy, recognize God’s ongoing work in the world, and discover how blackness—if we let it—can save us all.
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    • Kirkus

      March 15, 2018
      The impassioned story of one woman's journey into activism.Brown's book is part memoir and part jeremiad against American whiteness. She begins by describing her youth in a largely white neighborhood of Toledo. After her parents' divorce, she went on to discover black culture, and affirm her own identity, in an African-American Cleveland neighborhood and, especially, in a black church. Through high school and then into college, Brown learned more about black history and culture and became more involved with racial reconciliation efforts. She especially saw herself as a possible bridge between black and white cultures. Most of her work has been through churches and progressive Christian organizations, but faith plays only a minor role in this book. The focus of the narrative is on the author's recognition of--and fight against--"America's commitment to violent, abusive, exploitative, immoral white supremacy, which seeks the absolute control of Black bodies." Brown pulls no punches as she lambasts white culture for being, even at its most liberal, myopic and self-serving. She argues that "white fragility" and "white guilt" are ways in which whites absolve themselves of inherent racism. Discussing whites who, after her presentations on racism, confess to her their own racist opinions and actions, she points out that she cannot "offer absolution....I am not a priest for the white soul." Throughout the book, the author writes with raw emotion and candid self-reflection. "I have become very intimate with anger," she writes. Brown's work will resonate with other activists of color, though it provides little direction for others. The author is clear that racism and white supremacy are here to stay and that even attempts to educate and enlighten are rarely fruitful. "I underestimated the enduring power, the lethal imagination, the desire for blood of white supremacy," she writes. And later: "hope for me has died one thousand deaths."A powerful and necessarily uncomfortable text lacking suggestions for a path forward.

      COPYRIGHT(2018) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Publisher's Weekly

      Starred review from March 26, 2018
      In this powerful book, Brown is up front about her exhaustion with white people as she meticulously details the experience of being a black woman in modern American society. After explaining that her parents named her Austin so that potential employers would “assume you are a white man,” she recreates a typical interview and first few months at a new job: “Every pair of eyes looks at me in surprise.... Should they have known? Am I now more impressive or less impressive?... It would be comical if it wasn’t so damn disappointing.” In clear prose, she relates anecdotes to shed light on racial injustices that are systematically reinforced by the standards of white society. Brown, a Christian, believes the history of American Christianity is deeply intertwined with race relations and that Christian communities need to play a large role in racial reconciliation. Explaining that change needs to come from acknowledgement of systemic inequalities, Brown calls on readers to live their professed ideals rather than simply state them. Though the writing style can be preachy, Brown’s authoritative tone and moving message make this a must-read for those interested in racial justice within the Christian community.

    • School Library Journal

      Starred review from March 1, 2019

      This incisive memoir takes a penetrating look at race and the Christian faith while providing tools on how to cope with microaggressions and blatant racism. Brown perfectly and succinctly describes the corrosive weight of white supremacy embedded within American institutions, which African Americans and other people of color endure on a daily basis in schools, professional spaces, and places of worship. Brown's experiences and lifelong exploration of racial understanding and reconciliation offer a modern take on the double consciousness first written about by W.E.B. DuBois. From her days in elementary school, often as the only person of color in the room, to speaking on the national stage, Brown's lessons not only give allies the tools to do better but also provide advice for peers and up-and-comings on navigating hostile workplaces, lecture halls, and hearts and minds. This book is laced with gems that make it necessary reading for everyone, regardless of belief or identity. VERDICT Fans of Ta-Nehisi Coates's Between the World and Me and Reni Eddo-Lodge's Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race will find this candid debut edifying and essential.-Christina Vortia, Hype Lit, Land O'Lakes, FL

      Copyright 2019 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      April 1, 2018
      We've seen this before, persistent white refusal to acknowledge structural racism, the softening of America's racist history, and the lone black person as reluctant racism confessor for white colleagues. Now Brown explores racial ignorance within the white church, noting how Christian values of hope, forgiveness, and unconditional love do not seem to apply to black people but instead give nice white people a pass on their racism. Brown poignantly describes the death of her cousin in jail, I had to reject the notion that my cousin's life was somehow less valuable because he did not meet ?Christian criteria' of innocence and perfection. In contrast, the Black Jesus of her home church understood the accused, the incarcerated, the criminals, and expressed righteous anger towards the corrupt. Brown passionately rejects facile reliance on hope, stating that in order for me to stay in this work, hope must die and the death of hope gives way to a sadness that heals, to anger that inspires, to a wisdom that empowers me. An eloquent argument for meaningful reconciliation focused on racial injustice rather than white feelings.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)

    • Library Journal

      Starred review from April 15, 2018

      Among the most extreme experiences described here by writer and speaker Brown (Christianity Today) are college visits to a plantation and a lynching museum, during which tour guides explained that slaves were happy and better looked after than slaves in other places. On another occasion, a white woman tells her that "I really had no idea that slavery was on purpose." These events and the many mundane brutalities Brown regularly endures make her wonder who is being helped by the idea of racial reconciliation in America. The movement toward diversity and forgiveness, the author points out, too often involves white people seeking credit for recognizing the crimes of the past even as they do nothing to fix things today, and black people being required to provide endless absolution and information while calmly enduring dignity-eroding and rage-inducing injustices. Amid the frankly told, well-written accounts of Brown's daily life as a professional in a Christian organization are "Interludes" that will help black women in her situation, notably "How To Survive Racism in an Organization That Claims To Be Antiracist." VERDICT A must-read for black and white women especially, but of value to everyone.--Henrietta Verma, Credo Reference, Jackson Heights, NY

      Copyright 2018 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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