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BFF

A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
* "A love story about the miracle of friendship." —Maggie Smith * "Fearless and unflinching." —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette *

From the author of Group, a New York Times bestseller and Reese's Book Club Pick, a poignant, funny, and emotionally satisfying memoir about Christie Tate's lifelong struggle to sustain female friendship, and the extraordinary friend who changed everything.
After more than a decade of dead-end dates and dysfunctional relationships, Christie Tate has reclaimed her voice and settled down. Her days of agonizing in group therapy over guys who won't commit are over, the grueling emotional work required to attach to another person tucked neatly into the past.

Or so she thought. Weeks after giddily sharing stories of her new boyfriend at Saturday morning recovery meetings, Christie receives a gift from a friend. Meredith, twenty years older and always impeccably accessorized, gives Christie a box of holiday-themed scarves as well as a gentle suggestion: maybe now is the perfect time to examine why friendships give her trouble. "The work never ends, right?" she says with a wink.

Christie isn't so sure, but she soon realizes that the feeling of "apartness" that has plagued her since childhood isn't magically going away now that she's in a healthy romantic relationship. With Meredith by her side, she embarks on a brutally honest exploration of her friendships past and present, sorting through the ways that debilitating shame and jealousy have kept the lasting bonds she craves out of reach—and how she can overcome a history of letting go too soon.

"An outstanding portrait of self-excavation" (Publishers Weekly, starred review), BFF explores what happens when we finally break the habits that impair our ability to connect with others, and the ways that one life—however messy and imperfect—can change another.
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      Starred review from November 28, 2022
      In her heartfelt memoir, Tate (Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life) reflects on the implosion of her past female friendships. When Tate overheard her married friends discussing motherhood at her wedding rehearsal dinner, she realized that her fiancé’s proposal hadn’t fixed her inability to stay close to other women. Tate recalls her turbulent history of making and losing friends: elementary school alliances were marked by the desire to fit in with the popular girls, while as a high schooler, Tate’s friendship with homecoming queen Lia dissolved after she prioritized an alcoholic boyfriend. Tate’s friendship woes followed her into adulthood: the “uneasy triangle” she formed with her friends Marnie and Emily reminded Tate of the fraught relationship between herself, her mom, and her sister, and she ghosted her running partner, Callie, after getting engaged. But the bond Tate forms with Meredith, an older woman whom she meets in a 12-step meeting, changes her perspective. Tate takes accountability for her actions (“I’m a work in progress”), and she captures the transformative power of friendship: “It feels like being known and cherished and held tightly.” Readers will be moved by this outstanding portrait of self-excavation. Agent: Amy Williams, Williams Company.

    • AudioFile Magazine
      Christie Tate uses self-deprecating humor as she narrates her unique memoir. It's a recovery story mixed with a meditation on adult womanhood and an ode to grief and loss. Listeners will laugh, and maybe cry, at her honesty. Tate is unflinchingly in the measure of herself--and everyone else--in her pursuit of healthy adult relationships. Fans of the memoir genre will fall in love with her quirky, frank retelling of aspects of her life such as her attendance of AA meetings and the loss of a dear friend. She is the best kind of narrator, one who has experienced the material firsthand, written it, and delivers it in a way that is seasoned by these experiences. Irreverent and at times sad, this audiobook takes us on her journey. M.R. © AudioFile 2023, Portland, Maine
    • Library Journal

      June 10, 2024

      After years of coming to terms with her tendency toward toxic relationships, Tate (Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life) finally found a healthy relationship. Fellow group therapy member Meredith then suggests that Tate examine why her past friendships imploded. Tate recalls how in elementary school, she became a sycophant to stay friends with a popular girl. She nearly succeeded in keeping friends in high school until she started dating the first in a long line of alcoholic boyfriends. In the present, envy and feelings of inadequacy begin to taint friendships with other recovery-program members. Tate candidly narrates her discovery toward becoming a better friend and wonders if these failed relationships grew from her meager relationship with her younger sister. She freely admits her part in most of these breakdowns and details her emotions at the time. Juxtaposed with tales of friendships gone awry is the earnest story of Tate's decades-long friendship with Meredith, who is 20 years older. In Meredith, Tate finds the sister she always wanted and the best friend she rarely had. VERDICT Listeners will relate to the disasters and triumphs of Tate's friendships and will likely respond to her transparent, often humorous delivery.--Anjelica Rufus-Barnes

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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