Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers

December 9, 2013
Drawing from their own difficult stories, writer Fields (Surprise Child) and clinical psychologist Hubbard exhibit grace and genuine empathy in taking on a topic that often takes a lifetime to work through. Fields talks about the power of confessing the wrongs children suffer from their parents and urges readers to consider the story of the Good Samaritan; not only are they victims, but also Samaritans, who can use their own pain as a source of empathy. With that perspective comes the realization that, “Most of all, revenge is an attempt to ease our pain…” Freedom instead comes through letting go of expectation, using healthy boundaries, and returning the power of judgment to God. In the process, those who have been hurt become people of honor, capable of honoring parents and also changing the family story. The authors’ gracious approach does not minimize the pain adults feel about their relationships with parents who have hurt them. Neither does it offer platitudes. Instead, the Fields and Hubbard outline concrete steps to do the necessary work of forgiveness in order to move forward into a life of freedom. An excellent resource for the journey.

November 15, 2013

Fields (contributing editor, Christianity Today) and Hubbard (cohost, New Life Live on Christian radio), a clinical psychologist, have broken a kind of barrier in Christian writing. The standard in spiritual memoir or sermon has long been to return to established relationships with renewed patience and vigor; the authors write frankly of disastrous failure in parent-child relationships and the importance to the victim as well as to the wrongdoer, not of forgetting but of forgiving. VERDICT This candid volume should prove painful but necessary reading for individuals, church groups, and pastors.

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