Raising Kids beyond the Binary

June 5, 2023
LGBTQ+ advocate Bruesehoff’s thoughtful debut guide offers Christian parents and leaders tools to support nonbinary children. Contending that such kids are “who God created them to be,” Bruesehoff recalls how her transgender daughter, Rebekah, expressed an early love of “all things pink, purple, and sparkly,” played pretend salon at age three, and at age eight wore a dress to their church in a rural, conservative part of New Jersey—a particularly fraught moment given the general church culture’s “contentious relationship” with the nonbinary community. Elsewhere, Bruesehoff outlines the medical, legal, and social aspects of transitioning; the importance of placing gender-diverse children in supportive school and community environments; and the need for adequate mental health resources. She also calls on church leaders to revise gendered language in prayers (“brothers and sisters in Christ,” for example, might become “siblings”) and educate community members on the issue by screening documentaries or scheduling gender-inclusive speakers. Aided by practical advice and an eye-opening afterword from Rebekah, Bruesehoff sends a powerful message that “conflating Jesus’s teachings with the standards... of the dominant culture of our time” is “not only inaccurate; it’s dangerous. It puts God into a box of our own making.” This is a wise and necessary resource.

August 1, 2023
At a time of rampant transphobia, Bruesehoff's life-affirming book about raising transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive youth is a gift to parents, advocates, and anyone else seeking enlightenment about this important subject. The author writes as the parent herself of a transgender daughter, 16-year-old Rebekah, from whose life experiences Bruesehoff extrapolates an overview of the present conditions for transgender kids in the U.S., acknowledging the fact that these young people experience high rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidality. Throughout, Bruesehoff stresses that affirmation and advocacy protect at-risk gender-diverse young people. With two degrees in religion and as the wife of a Lutheran pastor, Bruesehoff acknowledges that her book is rooted in a Christian faith perspective, though never pushing any agenda. In that context, she writes, "Gender-diverse people are a part of God's creation . . . we need them in our communities for our sake and the sake of the Gospel." To her credit, Bruesehoff puts faces to her life-affirming stories of gender-diverse people.

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